Portrait chinois de Paris (par Mister Misplaced in the Midwest)

Bonjour Matthew
Bonjour US citizens de Paris (mon voisin Parisian cowboy notamment
Bonjour aux zotres

Mercredi 30 janvier, je vous parlais en termes élogieux d'un blog anglophone rédigé (fort bien) par un Parisien d'adoption, américain de souche. Pour prolonger un peu le plaisir de le lire, je lui ai proposé de réaliser un portrait chinois de Paris car j'avais envie d'avoir son point de vue sur ma capitale chérie mais sous un angle un peu décalé. Voici ses réponses (en finesse et en anglais) à mes 25 questions.
Et si Paris était... Ce serait...

A disease
(source photo)
Priapism - must be all the phallic monuments. (you may need to look that one up more of a medical condition than a disease)

A quality
A very classy, sophisticated, beautiful woman who is, secretly, a bit of a whore.

A sin or a fault
If referring to one of the 7 sins I would have to say Pride which could also be quality.

A swear word
Merde - the greatest swear word of them all, suitable for all occassions.

An animal
Peacock - very showy, very beautiful, very loud.

A meal
Steak Frits - You are intimidated when you first get to Paris then you have steak frits the meat is tough and the frits are cold fries and you realize that Paris isn’t always glamorous nothing to be afraid of.

A color
(Source photo
Album N&B
Isa Photos)
Grey - a building of stone and all it’s best photos are in black and white


A drink
Champagne, of course, even more so because I don’t drink. I will never be able to partake in the “real” Paris.

One of the 5 senses
It’s hard to choose one because Paris is all the senses but if I had to choose one it would be smell. It’s the one sense that no one mentions about Paris but there is a very distinct scent which is also very subtle much like Paris itself.

A famous painting
(1950)
Jackson Pollack’s “Lavender Mist” There is a method and beauty in the madness of this city.


A fruit or a vegetable
Clementine - not a great answer but for the rest of my life when I eat a Clementine I will be transported back to Paris.

A Disney character
I don’t think one character represents Paris so I’d have to say all of the seven dwarves and the wicked witch

A song
Jacque Brel’s Ne Me Quitte Pas (do not leave me) although instead of singing it while crying as Mr. Brel did, I suspect Paris would sing it in a “Fatal Attraction”- boiling rabbit sort of way.

A motto or a quotation
I imagine Paris walking into another city, much like Betty Davis in “Beyond the Forest”, and exclaiming “What a dump”

A day of the week
Friday - the weekend starts immediately after work ends. There seems to be a day to day joy in living here. No one is “waiting for the weekend”

A piece of furniture
If the world was a house then Paris would be the ornate, wood carved armoire not a necessity but it makes the home livable.